Conversation with The Girl...
Me: Guess where Auntie V went last weekend?
TG: Where?
Me: Las Vegas!
TG: Without you?!?!?
Showing posts with label vegas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vegas. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
LEGENDARY
More stories of note from our LEGENDARY trip to Las Vegas:
All cocktail waitresses at Bally's are old. I mean 65+ old. There was one who was probably just 50, but she had a knee brace. It's where old cocktail waitresses go to die. One night we nicknamed our cocktail waitress Grandma (no to her face of course!). But we had an even older one (70+) on our last night. She was called Grandma's Grandma and had wicked pencil-outlined lips filled in with a nasty light pink. She would hover next to you until you tipped after each drink. We also decided that they would be better off (as would we) if Bally's let their cocktail waitresses ride Rascals. Just think of all the drinks they could carry!
I initiated V into the wonders of Deadliest Catch thanks to their Labor Day marathon. Dude, that show rocks. Especially when you are wasted in Vegas.
The customer service at Bally's was exceptional. The front desk gal got us into adjoining rooms. The Spa attendant was hysterical. The Spa manager was fun. The dealers rocked. Even the one from Minnesota! The only downside to Bally's...no restaurants or room service after midnight. WTF? V & I had to go to the vending machine at 1 a.m. when a wicked case of the munchies hit.
Favorite dealers at Bally's: Ladanna, Pinky (swear to gawd), Minnesota guy. We actually shouted down a dealer who thought it was her turn to take over his table. HE'S JUST ON BREAK. HE'S HERE TILL 4!!!! We wanted Minnesota guy back. And we got him.
Favorite table mates: V of course, who never hits on a 16 and sometimes hits on a 14 when the dealer is showing a 3 (GAH!); impeccably dressed Jewish mommy of 2 from Dallas who asked if V was my friend. Then asked if she knew she was "FUCKING the table taking that hit?" Priceless. Also her husband stood at the table a while and commented that they never met people like them (I assumed cynical, dirty, mocking and very drunk); also enjoyed the company of the late 40s gal from Minnesota who sat down and said she was "kind of quiet." By the end of the hour she was asking where that "fucking waitress" was with her beer and hollering each time she won. I live to teach, people.
But by far, the hot doctor who played blackjack with us until 4:30 a.m. was the icing on the cake. An adorable 30-year-old orthopedic surgeon from DC sat down at our table and nearly charmed the pants off all of us. Seriously. OK, so he was just a resident, but still hot. When a Japanese tourist tried to sit in V's chair while she was in the restroom, Doc let him know it was taken IN JAPANESE!!! Right then and there I told him he was so hottttt I could kiss him on the mouth. He giggled and said he had been stationed in Okinawa. WTF? Oh yeah, he had been in the military. He was married, but contemplating divorce since his very successful surgeon wife took a job in another state. Oh you poor, good looking, sweet, sweet doctor man. Rest your awesome head on my shoulder and just let it all out. Mmmmmm...hot vulnerable doctor. I actually asked if he wanted us to make a doctor sandwich. Again, seriously.
All cocktail waitresses at Bally's are old. I mean 65+ old. There was one who was probably just 50, but she had a knee brace. It's where old cocktail waitresses go to die. One night we nicknamed our cocktail waitress Grandma (no to her face of course!). But we had an even older one (70+) on our last night. She was called Grandma's Grandma and had wicked pencil-outlined lips filled in with a nasty light pink. She would hover next to you until you tipped after each drink. We also decided that they would be better off (as would we) if Bally's let their cocktail waitresses ride Rascals. Just think of all the drinks they could carry!
I initiated V into the wonders of Deadliest Catch thanks to their Labor Day marathon. Dude, that show rocks. Especially when you are wasted in Vegas.
The customer service at Bally's was exceptional. The front desk gal got us into adjoining rooms. The Spa attendant was hysterical. The Spa manager was fun. The dealers rocked. Even the one from Minnesota! The only downside to Bally's...no restaurants or room service after midnight. WTF? V & I had to go to the vending machine at 1 a.m. when a wicked case of the munchies hit.
Favorite dealers at Bally's: Ladanna, Pinky (swear to gawd), Minnesota guy. We actually shouted down a dealer who thought it was her turn to take over his table. HE'S JUST ON BREAK. HE'S HERE TILL 4!!!! We wanted Minnesota guy back. And we got him.
Favorite table mates: V of course, who never hits on a 16 and sometimes hits on a 14 when the dealer is showing a 3 (GAH!); impeccably dressed Jewish mommy of 2 from Dallas who asked if V was my friend. Then asked if she knew she was "FUCKING the table taking that hit?" Priceless. Also her husband stood at the table a while and commented that they never met people like them (I assumed cynical, dirty, mocking and very drunk); also enjoyed the company of the late 40s gal from Minnesota who sat down and said she was "kind of quiet." By the end of the hour she was asking where that "fucking waitress" was with her beer and hollering each time she won. I live to teach, people.
But by far, the hot doctor who played blackjack with us until 4:30 a.m. was the icing on the cake. An adorable 30-year-old orthopedic surgeon from DC sat down at our table and nearly charmed the pants off all of us. Seriously. OK, so he was just a resident, but still hot. When a Japanese tourist tried to sit in V's chair while she was in the restroom, Doc let him know it was taken IN JAPANESE!!! Right then and there I told him he was so hottttt I could kiss him on the mouth. He giggled and said he had been stationed in Okinawa. WTF? Oh yeah, he had been in the military. He was married, but contemplating divorce since his very successful surgeon wife took a job in another state. Oh you poor, good looking, sweet, sweet doctor man. Rest your awesome head on my shoulder and just let it all out. Mmmmmm...hot vulnerable doctor. I actually asked if he wanted us to make a doctor sandwich. Again, seriously.
Friday, June 01, 2007
THE GREAT RASCAL CAPER
V & I met up for a four-day, three-night stay in Vegas. No hubby, no kid and three comped spa treatments each. Food, drinks, antacid, fun. Legendary.
A couple days before departing, I read this story about people renting motorized wheelchair/scooters (like the Rascal) in Vegas because they are too lazy to walk a million miles down The Strip to get their next gigantic frozen daiquiri in a yard-long plastic Eiffel Tower or Stratosphere replica. Lazy fucks. Grab a taxi like the rest of us or go join the Midwesterners on the sidewalk. That got me thinking (and drinking) and talking with V. We decided we needed to Rascal-jack someone. Not the healthy but lazy folks. No, we wanted to jack a person who really needed it since we would have a better chance of out running them due to disability or age. We really wanted a Rascal of our own and decided that the elevator would be our best bet for a successful Rascal-jacking. Just get in, then push the person out of the Rascal and exit on the next floor, leaving the Rascalee laying in the elevator unable to follow. Of course we would hit the button for the top floor giving us just a little more time to elude capture before the Rascalee could claw to the emergency phone. But alas, no Rascal riders ever fell prey to our deviously simple plan. But damn if we didn't laugh until Bailey's shot out of our noses every time we passed a Rascal in the casino.
Legendary. More stories to follow.
A couple days before departing, I read this story about people renting motorized wheelchair/scooters (like the Rascal) in Vegas because they are too lazy to walk a million miles down The Strip to get their next gigantic frozen daiquiri in a yard-long plastic Eiffel Tower or Stratosphere replica. Lazy fucks. Grab a taxi like the rest of us or go join the Midwesterners on the sidewalk. That got me thinking (and drinking) and talking with V. We decided we needed to Rascal-jack someone. Not the healthy but lazy folks. No, we wanted to jack a person who really needed it since we would have a better chance of out running them due to disability or age. We really wanted a Rascal of our own and decided that the elevator would be our best bet for a successful Rascal-jacking. Just get in, then push the person out of the Rascal and exit on the next floor, leaving the Rascalee laying in the elevator unable to follow. Of course we would hit the button for the top floor giving us just a little more time to elude capture before the Rascalee could claw to the emergency phone. But alas, no Rascal riders ever fell prey to our deviously simple plan. But damn if we didn't laugh until Bailey's shot out of our noses every time we passed a Rascal in the casino.
Legendary. More stories to follow.
Friday, May 04, 2007
FREAKISH SHOE & EARRING BUYING SPREE
I rarely buy shoes. The last two pair of shoes I bought were Crocs - black maryjanes last year and regular black Crocs at Christmas '05. Dude. But for some 
unknown reason in the past three weeks I have purchased three new pairs of shoes, all with peep toes and none of them made by Crocs. Red slingback flats with white piping & button 
detail from Urban Outfitters, black & white peep-toe sneakers by BC Footwear, and peep-toe flats in ZEBRA off Ebay! Damn, I really am crazy.
Then I lost my mind completely and bought jewelry. A sassy bracelet & earrings at Macy's and two pair of cheapy sorta-50s/sorta-80s retro plastic-y earrings at one of those tween shops at the mall. I know - crazy fucking lunatic is what I said too! And I think I'm gonna go to Forever 21 to go check out some rings and maybe another pair of under $5 earrings. I am teetering on the brink.
I really think my subconscious is driving this whole crazy buying spree because I'm going to Vegas in three short weeks. Nothing says Vegas like a new pair of zebra peep-toe flats and large cheap earrings (to match the very large hair I get in the desert).
unknown reason in the past three weeks I have purchased three new pairs of shoes, all with peep toes and none of them made by Crocs. Red slingback flats with white piping & button 
detail from Urban Outfitters, black & white peep-toe sneakers by BC Footwear, and peep-toe flats in ZEBRA off Ebay! Damn, I really am crazy.Then I lost my mind completely and bought jewelry. A sassy bracelet & earrings at Macy's and two pair of cheapy sorta-50s/sorta-80s retro plastic-y earrings at one of those tween shops at the mall. I know - crazy fucking lunatic is what I said too! And I think I'm gonna go to Forever 21 to go check out some rings and maybe another pair of under $5 earrings. I am teetering on the brink.
I really think my subconscious is driving this whole crazy buying spree because I'm going to Vegas in three short weeks. Nothing says Vegas like a new pair of zebra peep-toe flats and large cheap earrings (to match the very large hair I get in the desert).
Gawd almighty I need this trip. I need these shoes & earring. Maybe Vegas, Vonnie and zebra peep toes will save me from the daily insanity of a preschooler who naps irregularly and knows how to punch each and every one of my buttons. Peep toes to the rescue.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
PARIS NOT PERRIS
I left for Vegas Wed. afternoon and stayed at Paris (as opposed to Perris - HA HA. Only V will get that.). Is it me or are all hotel rooms in Vegas starting to look alike? Nice enough, but meeh. The trade show was Thurs., so I spent the rest of the time gambling, drunk and sleeping.
The sourcing wing of the trade show was about 98% Asian manufacturers. Of course we were looking for a factory in Mexico or South America. Luckily I found one Mexican manufacturer (in the state of Yucatan) who seemed nice and provides just what we need. Doing business in Mexico solves a couple issues: 1) they are not China; 2) NAFTA means no import/export fees/taxes/tariffs or quotas; 3) Yucatan is in the central timezone; 4) everyone speaks English; 5) it's near Cancun & the Mayan ruins so there are vacation possibilities.
I went to another section of the convention center for the retail apparel show for women, juniors, kids, and accessories. Big f-n show. The men's show was in yet another hall of the convention center. You had to ride a shuttle to get to the different halls. Then they had 11 bus routes to return you to your lovely hotel. Big business, big show, big, big, big. I talked with a couple other mom-owned small businesses from SoCal and traded some tips. They were nice enough to let me take pics of their booths and tell me how to make it look good on a budget. I swear I walked 5+ miles despite the buses and shuttles.
After organizing all of the business cards, notes and brochures back at the hotel, I went down to have some fun around 6 p.m. I played blackjack for hours and drank at least 10 tiny Malibu & diet cokes. I didn't think I was drunk, but back in the room at midnight I promptly started watching an infomercial on the big flat screen and ate a Snickers bar. Unfortunately I also realized I couldn't sleep because of the frickin caffeine. More infomercials and some Law & Order fixed me right up.
The Girl watched my plane take off Wed. and land on Fri. in Santa Maria. She thought it was really neat and wanted to know about the pilot and what the inside of the plane looked like. She did pretty well with the in-laws, but picked up a snotty nose and fever from Nana. We came back Sun. to relax and get better before The Hubby returns Mon. night.
PS - I forgot that the free nights at Paris were part of some Coach bag promotion, so after the registration person reminded me, I picked out an adorable little black purse ($198 retail!) for free!!! It did however cost me $400 in gambling for that free purse and 2-night stay. But did I mention... I WAS ALONE FOR 48 WHOLE HOURS?!?!?!
The sourcing wing of the trade show was about 98% Asian manufacturers. Of course we were looking for a factory in Mexico or South America. Luckily I found one Mexican manufacturer (in the state of Yucatan) who seemed nice and provides just what we need. Doing business in Mexico solves a couple issues: 1) they are not China; 2) NAFTA means no import/export fees/taxes/tariffs or quotas; 3) Yucatan is in the central timezone; 4) everyone speaks English; 5) it's near Cancun & the Mayan ruins so there are vacation possibilities.
I went to another section of the convention center for the retail apparel show for women, juniors, kids, and accessories. Big f-n show. The men's show was in yet another hall of the convention center. You had to ride a shuttle to get to the different halls. Then they had 11 bus routes to return you to your lovely hotel. Big business, big show, big, big, big. I talked with a couple other mom-owned small businesses from SoCal and traded some tips. They were nice enough to let me take pics of their booths and tell me how to make it look good on a budget. I swear I walked 5+ miles despite the buses and shuttles.
After organizing all of the business cards, notes and brochures back at the hotel, I went down to have some fun around 6 p.m. I played blackjack for hours and drank at least 10 tiny Malibu & diet cokes. I didn't think I was drunk, but back in the room at midnight I promptly started watching an infomercial on the big flat screen and ate a Snickers bar. Unfortunately I also realized I couldn't sleep because of the frickin caffeine. More infomercials and some Law & Order fixed me right up.
The Girl watched my plane take off Wed. and land on Fri. in Santa Maria. She thought it was really neat and wanted to know about the pilot and what the inside of the plane looked like. She did pretty well with the in-laws, but picked up a snotty nose and fever from Nana. We came back Sun. to relax and get better before The Hubby returns Mon. night.
PS - I forgot that the free nights at Paris were part of some Coach bag promotion, so after the registration person reminded me, I picked out an adorable little black purse ($198 retail!) for free!!! It did however cost me $400 in gambling for that free purse and 2-night stay. But did I mention... I WAS ALONE FOR 48 WHOLE HOURS?!?!?!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
V IS FOR VEGAS, BABY!
Happy V Day. No not Valentine's Day. Today is Vegas day, baby! I'm heading to my happiest place on earth for a trade show. Hopefully I will be able to find a sewing contractor for these damn shoes that I keep thinking are going to launch my career as a wildly successful business woman. In addition to the show on Thurs., I plan on getting quite drunk and gambling and eating and sleeping in a king-sized bed all by myself. Heaven. F'n A!
The Hubby left for the Miami boat show this a.m. and I will head up to the in-laws today to drop The Kid with them. I'm flying out of Santa Maria (yes they have an airport) direct to Vegas for $101 total. Plus I have a free room at Paris. Plus I have $50 "free" money to eat with from our friends at Paris. Ka-ching, more money to gamble with.
This is quite possibly the best Valentine's Day EVER!
The Hubby left for the Miami boat show this a.m. and I will head up to the in-laws today to drop The Kid with them. I'm flying out of Santa Maria (yes they have an airport) direct to Vegas for $101 total. Plus I have a free room at Paris. Plus I have $50 "free" money to eat with from our friends at Paris. Ka-ching, more money to gamble with.
This is quite possibly the best Valentine's Day EVER!
Friday, November 10, 2006
FLOWER POWER
Today is my lazy photo post...
When I had my get-away to Vegas in early October, I spent a day at the Wynn walking around,
taking pictures and gambling (mostly gambling). The vibe and the decor at the Wynn are both terrific. It is just a stunning hotel & casino. They have awesome umbrella lights suspended in a two-story atrium. And a two story window with a view of their rock wall waterfall and babbling lake. They have a light show sort of thing too. But the best, best, best part is the repeated patterns of flowers, vines and leaves. They were everywhere from the carpeting, mosaic tile on the floors, ceiling relief, soffets, indoor garden, fake trees with flower balls. Frickin everywhere, frickin beautiful.
Go if you have a chance.
taking pictures and gambling (mostly gambling). The vibe and the decor at the Wynn are both terrific. It is just a stunning hotel & casino. They have awesome umbrella lights suspended in a two-story atrium. And a two story window with a view of their rock wall waterfall and babbling lake. They have a light show sort of thing too. But the best, best, best part is the repeated patterns of flowers, vines and leaves. They were everywhere from the carpeting, mosaic tile on the floors, ceiling relief, soffets, indoor garden, fake trees with flower balls. Frickin everywhere, frickin beautiful.
Go if you have a chance.
Monday, October 09, 2006
VEGAS AGAIN, BABY
The Hubby was headed to Vegas for business (really), so The Girl and I were headed to Carlsbad to visit my Dad, Sis & her family. But when I got there, I decided I needed another Vegas trip too. Sis watched The Girl while I jetted off. I called the Hubby from a bar at the San Diego Airport to let him know I was on my way. Woo hoo, Hard Rock here I come. Since the Hubby was still working, I helped myself to a looooong soak in the tub and spent over an hour getting all fancy (blow dried AND curled the hair AND did makeup) before he got there. Truly, the best part of Vegas was being by myself. Very refreshing.
Saturday I spent several hours at the Wynn (so pretty) gambling and drinking and generally wandering around enjoying my unencumbered time. That night we went to see Jet at The Joint in the Hard Rock FOR FREE! Rocked. Hard.
Sunday I flew out refreshed and ready to be a wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend again. In just over 48 hours I read an entire book and had Starbucks several times. Throw in drinking, gambling, sex & rock-n-roll and we've got ourselves a happy VenturaMom.
Saturday I spent several hours at the Wynn (so pretty) gambling and drinking and generally wandering around enjoying my unencumbered time. That night we went to see Jet at The Joint in the Hard Rock FOR FREE! Rocked. Hard.
Sunday I flew out refreshed and ready to be a wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend again. In just over 48 hours I read an entire book and had Starbucks several times. Throw in drinking, gambling, sex & rock-n-roll and we've got ourselves a happy VenturaMom.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
AND A COUPLE MORE THINGS
Additional notes on Vegas...
- Bally's is where old cocktail waitresses go to die. Saggy. Wrinkly.
- The Wynn is my new favorite casino. Awfully pretty decor, fast drink service and the dealer said he would spank me for my Birthday.
- Saw Steve Harvey and the Kings of Comedy eating dinner at the Bellagio coffee shop. Keeping it real with the common folk.
- Mia, a dealer at the Hard Rock was one of the few that was not 25 and tiny. She says she makes up for it with sass and good tits.
- If you say "You have kind eyes" to strangers, they usually leave you alone.
- Mojitos are yummy. RedBull and vodka gives me heartburn. Malibu and diet Coke never does.
- When drunk, even bad champagne tastes fine.
- Really, people, if you aren't going to the Pink Taco at the Hard Rock for lunch after a hard night of drinking, you are missing out. And no it is not a nudie bar. It's a mexican food restaurant.
- The Girl did so well with Nana & Grandpa that I will be heading back to Vegas next month for a boat race with the Hubby. He will cover the race, while I amass a fortune playing blackjack.
Friday, September 01, 2006
AND THEN I TURNED 40
A short recap of the 40th Birthday bash in Vegas: WOOHOO! Vonnie SURPRISE! Drinking, gambling, eating, champagne toast, more drinking, gambling, champagne toast at midnight, lather rinse repeat.
And now for the longer version...
The 5+ hour drive sort of sucked. Notice the scenery or lack thereof.
But we hung the pink ipod off the rearview and jammed to some Snoop, Coolio and Tupac (briefly) and then a whole lotta Elvis.
Dinner at Charlie Palmer Steak was oh my gawd so good. To start - Heirloom tomato bisque with smoked gouda won tons. Now imagine a giant delicious tender fillet topped with a blue cheese crust. And lets not forget the side dishes of truffle mashed potatoes or the cheesy potato things or the yummy veggies smothered in butter. They hooked us up with a champagne toast and desserts for the table. That's Vonnie on the right. Hi V!
The next morning with leftover makeup and glasses - this is the face of VenturaMom at 40.
The highlight of the trip was Vonnie surprising me. She and the Hubby conspired for months and LIED TO MY FACE! Damn they are good. She popped up in Bally's lobby and I had a momentary break with reality. I wasn't really sure what was happening but then it hit me - I sleep with a lying bastard and my best girlfriend is a lying whore. Damn tricksters. Good times, good times.
And now for the longer version...
The 5+ hour drive sort of sucked. Notice the scenery or lack thereof.
But we hung the pink ipod off the rearview and jammed to some Snoop, Coolio and Tupac (briefly) and then a whole lotta Elvis.
Dinner at Charlie Palmer Steak was oh my gawd so good. To start - Heirloom tomato bisque with smoked gouda won tons. Now imagine a giant delicious tender fillet topped with a blue cheese crust. And lets not forget the side dishes of truffle mashed potatoes or the cheesy potato things or the yummy veggies smothered in butter. They hooked us up with a champagne toast and desserts for the table. That's Vonnie on the right. Hi V! 
The next morning with leftover makeup and glasses - this is the face of VenturaMom at 40.
The highlight of the trip was Vonnie surprising me. She and the Hubby conspired for months and LIED TO MY FACE! Damn they are good. She popped up in Bally's lobby and I had a momentary break with reality. I wasn't really sure what was happening but then it hit me - I sleep with a lying bastard and my best girlfriend is a lying whore. Damn tricksters. Good times, good times.
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