GEORGE CLOONEY KISSED ME FULL ON THE MOUTH

Apparently in dreamland, George Clooney and I keep running into each other at events and tradeshows (!?). He always greets me by saying, "I was hoping I would run into you here." Then we gaze at each other, chuckle and float off to a lovely piano bar. Finally I decide that even in dreamland, running into each other isn't enough. So I tell George that this whole just-my-luck-running-into-you shtick isn't enough. It is then that he tells me he knew I would be there at every event/tradeshow. He called my office and pretended to be from each event/tradeshow to confirm my attendance. Then he reached his warm hands up to my face, held me and kissed me. Then he said he thought I didn't want a relationship. Oh, my dear sweet George, how wrong you were.