Saturday, November 05, 2005

KIDS' BIRTHDAY PARTIES MUST BE BANNED

Really, what is the point? The kid is turning two, three, whatever. Adults mill about. Children eat bad food and don't play nice. Some kid is crying because some other kid ... oh who the hell cares. Kids' birthday parties suck. They suck the life out of adults. They suck the fun out of the weekend. SUCKAGE, I tell you.

Surprise! We were at a kid's birthday party today. Nice kid, nice mom. We play with them every week at the park. But this is the second weekend in a row for a 2-year-old's b-day. Can't we just give him/her the $15-20 and be done with it? Why must I shower and dress and comb The Girl's hair? I wanted to read Real Simple and Inc. in my jammies. We showed up at 2:55 for a party that went from 1-4. We dropped the present, had ice cream, visited with other park moms, sang the song and got the hell out.

Long ago I told the Hubby he was excused from all children's parties (except The Girl's of course). He loves me so much for that. I only invited family and her two best buddies to The Girl's b-day. And even then I told everyone it was optional since it's a snooze. Upside...cake. Downside? BORING.

I think today I officially turned into that cranky mommy that people whisper about. But I say, "Bring it on." I will no longer live the lie. Kids parties SUCK! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!

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